


Through Painful Water Falls Clean Hope

by Angelicat2



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Amnesiac Shiro (Voltron), Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying Shiro (Voltron), Developing Relationship, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Intersex Keith (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Krolia (Voltron) is a Good Parent, M/M, Mpreg, ProblematicWeek, Quintessence Sensitive Keith (Voltron), Rape/Non-con Elements, Scared Shiro (Voltron), Selective Amnesia, Shiro feels guilty, Sick Keith (Voltron), problematicsheithweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:28:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23306074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelicat2/pseuds/Angelicat2
Summary: When Keith and Shiro's clone fight at the cloning facility, Keith gets more than just hurt. Over the next few months on their space journey back to Earth, Keith refuses to let the others know what happened. He quickly figures out that he was left with a little more than some scars, including a gift that he didn't ask for.The team finds out about it while fighting Macidus.
Relationships: Keith & Keith's Wolf (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Shiro (Voltron), Krolia & Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 319





	Through Painful Water Falls Clean Hope

**Author's Note:**

> I love the whole concept of problematic Sheith week, to be honest!

Keith was slammed onto his back.

The fight drained him, leaving him exhausted already. His arms were shaking, his breath uneven as he fought. He held his blade, stopping the plasma sword from burning through his skull.

"Shiro, please," he exclaimed as the man pressed down harder, "You're my brother."

Keith felt more strain, the man he cared for pushing down harder than before. Keith needed to snap him out of it. He had to save him.

"I love you!" He confesses, putting his whole heart into it. He does, he loves Shiro more than anyone. He loves him as his brother, his best friend, his...well, his everything. Shiro was his all.

Shiro's eyes widen in shock, glowing purple with whatever is wrong with him. For a moment, he stays frozen. Keith should use this time to break free but he can't. Not when it means Shiro might get back to normal. 

The man's arm shuts down, the heat fading as he gives him a small look of regret. Before Keith can ask, he's flipped onto his side, yelping at the change. He feels a hand yank on his paladin armor, taking off the belt and moving the thigh plates away. His chest plate is taken next before he feels a hand sneak to his zipper.

He panics, not liking where this is going. Sure, he wanted Shiro like this. He had since his Garrison days, but now, he wanted Shiro and him to be wanting this. Shiro was clearly out of his mind, and he couldn't consent properly.

Neither could Keith.

Keith jerked his body away, scooting forward. The man growled angrily before his hand snatched Keith's hair, pulling it tightly enough for pain to smash into his head. Keith cries out, still feeling his suit being peeled away. He fights harder, bearing the pain as he brings his blade up, transforming it into a sword before he slashes at his chest.

The metal hand blocks him, gripping it before yanking it from his fist. The blade shrunks down now that its owner is no longer holding onto it. Shiro scoffs, unamused as he tosses it behind them.

"I thought by now, you'd be smarter than this," he hisses out, continuing with stripping Keith of his undersuit, "Clearly, those two years taught you nothing."

"Shiro, stop," Keith chokes out as the suit's zipper reaches its end, all the way at his butt. He shifts uncomfortably as he tries to get up. Shiro yanks on his hair more, his neck snapping so tightly that his head is forced up, "This isn't you. I know you're in there."

"There is nothing to save, Keith," Shiro glares at him coldly, metal arm moving to grip his jaw. Each finger has sharp claws, which dig to his flesh as the older forces him to look at him. The move cuts off part of his air, making it difficult to breathe, "Just give up. You don't have to fight anymore."

Keith hisses back before cutting off as his breathing gets even more difficult. Shiro presses harder, holding his head at a more extreme angle. Keith coughs, unable to breathe as he paws at Shiro's wrist. He reaches his leg out, kicking weakly at the man. It doesn't make it to his leg as Keith weakens even more. He gags on nothingness as his head starts to feel heavy, like there was a great weight on it. Black spots litter his vision as he starts to slip. Everything feels far away, beyond him. Beyond his body-

And then he can breathe. 

He coughs and hacks on air he can get now. After enough time of this, he comes back to his surroundings. He glances to the side, no longer seeing Shiro. Another numb moment passes before he notices hands on his hips. Turning his eyes to the front, he almost jumps when he sees Shiro right between his legs. The other is undressed, armor and suit pulled down to his knees.

Keith becomes all too aware of the air against his skin down there. He glances to see that his suit has been removed to his knees too. Something hard sits against his ass, and he doesn't have to look to know what it is. 

"Shiro, please," he whispers, not having the energy yet to do much else, "Don't do this. We can go home. We can-"

"There is no home anymore," Shiro snarls at him, his hands creeping down his thighs and back up, "I made sure of it. The team, your mom, the wolf, the Altean...they're all gone. There's no one to return to."

"What!" Keith gasps before he snaps his foot at the man's face. Shiro blocks him easily, "You're lying! They're alive!"

"Priorities, Keith," Shiro smiles wickedly at him, hand gliding past his thighs to his hole, "It doesn't matter now. You're here with me. Forget them."

"Shiro…"

"If you're a good boy, I'll let you live," he goes on before he yanks Keith's legs back to his chest. Before Keith can move, a belt is wrapped around one knee to his arm. The other soon joins, leaving him unable to move his arms. Shiro leans over him, face just inches away. It chills Keith to the bone, "If you're bad, it'll hurt. I can't protect you."

Keith struggles anyway. He tries to get his arms to move, but no luck. He tries to get his legs out, but Shiro leans harder. He even tries to move his ass away, but it only allows that hardness to press closer, just between his cheeks.

Shiro doesn't waste any time, pushing the tip in. Keith yelps at the sensation, especially since it's dry. The other ignores his discomfort, pressing in more and more. Pain blossoms in his body, spiking when the other sits fully inside him. It's too hot, too big, too painful.

"Shi-shiro," Keith coughs, feeling the other thrust into him. The pain doubles, making his eyes water. What hurts even more is the look Shiro gives him. It's cold and calculating, like he's doing a casual everyday activity, "St-Stop."

"No," Shiro speaks up, voice monotonous in nature, "I can't."

And with that, he starts to move more. Keith nearly screams as the other slams into him. He knows he feels them scoot back an inch or two from the force, and Keith feels it all the way to his throat. He's too full, so full he's going to burst. He deals with it as the other starts to pump his hips faster. He goes faster and faster, and the pain grows and grows. 

Finally, the other gasps as hotness grows within Keith. The man's hips flutter a time or two before he groans and leans onto Keith. Keith can't move, and now he's in more pain than ever.

Apparently, that's not enough for Shiro. A few minutes pass before the other is over him again. Keith glares at him, but doesn't say anything. Neither does Shiro, who watches him. Another few minutes go by, the sweat and cum starting to dry. Before he can say anything, Shiro's pressing his fingers to Keith's hole. He quickly presses inside, moving the digits before pulling them out. They're slick with white, and Keith can't look away as he wraps his hand around his cock. Already, he's hard again, somehow. Keith resigns himself to it. He waits for the pain to flare up again, turning his head away.

That is, until he feels fingers on his own cock. They sneak further down, just below his balls to the slit that rests there. A finger brushes against the spot, making Keith jolt with fear. His eyes fly to the other who grins back.

"Shiro…"

"Be a good boy," the man states again, pressing his legs further apart. The undersuit prevents his limbs from going all the way out, "I didn't forget about this one. I bet you've never shown anyone this hole, have you? I still remember when you told me you were strange down there. When you told me you had both parts. I wonder if it's fully developed in there? I bet it's a Galra thing. Only makes sense that I got to do this."

And then he presses against Keith, who squirms. The older growls, fangs flashing as he grips the right side of his jaw with his prosthetic arm, slamming his head to the side. Claws grip him as Keith grunts in pain.

"No," he commands, voice dark and heavy, "You're not getting away. You're broken and worthless, give in."

Keith shakes his head, about to kick with his foot again. He doesn't get far when something presses into him right there. There's no time to adjust, no time to get used to the feeling. Automatically, the other moves, snapping his hips into his. Keith cries out in pain, fire burning his insides. If he thought his other hole was full, this was overloaded. He had messed with himself down there before, had been curious. The spot wasn't quite like a woman's but it was close enough. He could usually make himself feel better, make it pleasurable until his toes curled and he orgasmed. But this…

This was just agony. It was like a steel rod through his body. He could feel the pounding so much so he was moved backwards every other thrust. During this, he began to worry that they would fall off the platform, since it was only a few feet behind them. The claws gripped harder as the other started to go even faster. Keith couldn't help the cries of pain.

It took a long moment to realize that the pain wasn't just centered down there. Agony swept through his face, right where the claws were. He could see the bright red-purple plasma in the corner of his eye.

Shiro's claws were burning him where they slid down his cheek. He could feel his thumb on his neck, burning a stripe towards the front of his throat. 

It was too much. His vision sharpens as he feels another thrust hit him. Keith arches with a scream before his vision goes black.

…..

When he comes to, he hurts beyond anything he's experienced before. Even his Blade trial didn't hurt this much. He can already tell he's dirty, left uncleaned. His suit is pulled up, armor on as he lies there. To the side, he sees Shiro standing with his back to him, suit also up. He seems to be watching the background, staring into the horizon.

Keith takes this time to do something. He couldn't just leave him here. Despite what happened, he still loves the man. He slowly gets to his feet. He's so sore that the first step nearly makes him fall. He's sure that Shiro hears him, proven correct when the older starts to turn. Keith acts right away, not thinking it out. He feels the Black Bayard form in his hand, and he launches it straight for Shiro's mechanical arm with a shout.

The man's eyes widen in shock, face pale as the blade strikes true. With a cry, the other falls over, arm detached. Sparks fly from the port that's left, and Keith calls for the bayard again. He carefully steps over to the other who rests on his knees and hand, pressing his blade to his chin.

"Keith," the whisper is so small as grey eyes find his face, sliding up to him before they water with regret, "I...Keith-"

And then the man passes out, falling face down onto the metal floor. Keith waits, knowing it could very well be a trick. A moment passes without movement, so Keith removes the sword, returning it to his suit. He stumbles over to his Blade, picking it up before storing it in his sheath.

He goes back to Shiro, pushing him over. He gently rests his hand to the other's face.

He could dump him off here, let him die. He could let him stay here to starve to death. The only way off of here was either climbing the thin wires back up or getting a ship. He could just kill him here, save him the pain…

But he can't. This is Shiro, his best friend. He can't harm the one person who had been there for him for years. He can't harm...can't kill the man he loves.

"Fuck," Keith breathes out, grabbing onto the man before lifting him over his back. The action, luckily, doesn't trigger anything within him. Glancing down once he has him settled, he sees the arm. He snarls at it, glad to be able to take out his anger on the thing that caused them so much pain. Once again, his vision sharpens as he hisses. He kicks the thing off of the platform, watching as the arm falls. He grips Shiro tighter before huffing, eyes narrowing at the thing that quickly disappears from sight. He can feel sharp teeth in his mouth, some poking at his tongue and lip.

He doesn't know how he's getting out of here, much less how he's destroying the place so Haggar could never do this again. 

He hears something behind him, twirling with his bayard ready. He lets it go back to the suit when he sees the Black Lion floating there, rumbling softly.

"Thanks," he states softly before embarking on her, climbing up her ramp, "You found us."

The lion rumbles again as he quickly drops off Shiro in the back of the cockpit before going to the seat. Sitting down is a painful shock, feeling like the abuse happens all over again but faster. He grunts, closing his eyes before breathing through it. His hands find the yokes, squeezing them.

Oh god, it fucking hurts still.

For a second, he swears a hand presses to his own. He feels a presence behind him, so he whirls to see nothing. It's not Shiro. He's still out.

"Keith…"

"Who?" Keith scowls, feeling exhausted now. He doesn't give in yet, taking control of Black and rushing at the facility with a roar. He forms the jaw blade, thrashing through the cases holding...him...He fires beams in his anger, shouting loudly as the place bursts into pieces. Before he can control it, he sits back into the seat once finished. His head rests against the black surface before he falls asleep. 

…..

He finds out that Shiro isn't Shiro. He's a clone. It doesn't make him feel better, but he rolls with it. Shiro - his Shiro - has been on the astral plane for all this time, ever since the fight with Zarkon.

He races to the others, with Shiro's help, just in time to stop Lotor from killing them all. He quickly shoots the clone’s body to Coran, for some reason, before forming Voltron and taking down Lotor who…

Ends up ripping holes into space, which they use the castle to fix. When that’s done, they get settled on a rocky planet, so they can get Shiro back. Carrying the clone is strange, since he knows the guy hurt him but he also knows he probably didn’t want to. The five new scars burn still, both at the memory and the fact that it just happened hours ago. The rest of him aches in other places. He quickly places the man down, sitting back far enough that he’d have time if the man awakens. Soon enough, they retrieve the man who wakes up, eyes glowing until brown-grey orbs look up at him and he launches upward.

Keith’s ashamed to say that his first reaction is to move away. For a moment, all he can think is that he’s going to get hurt and that the other was going to pin him again. But Shiro just gasps, taking in a large breath of air before falling towards him.

“You found me,” he smiles back, tired and exhausted. His ear rests on Keith's chestplate, “Keith…”

He almost drops Shiro in his shock. Somehow, he grabs onto him, reminding himself that this is his Shiro. Shiro would never ever hurt him like the clone had. Shiro was better than that, he was different. He now had white hair, and his arm was gone. There was no mind control left.

“We’re…” Keith bites out, trying to put feeling into his tone, “We’re glad you’re back, Shiro.”

“Rest,” Allura speaks, but Keith keeps his eyes on Shiro who slips into sleep. Keith breathes softly, staring at him. Shiro was nice, and he wasn’t the one who hurt Keith like he did. He just had to get over it. Shiro didn’t deserve the treatment, nor did the others need to know what happened.

“We’re going home,” he breathes out as he stays on the ground. He's too sore, and Shiro is too heavy. His legs are fucking screaming at him and his insides hurt. He probably can't stand even if he needs to.

A hand lands on his arm, making him jolt in surprise. He glances to the side, seeing his mother. She sends him a look of understanding, though probably not knowing exactly why he jumped.

"I will carry him to the lion," she says softly, "You should take your time."

"'Kay," Keith nods, already agreeing. The others go back with her as she grabs up Shiro who continues to sleep, none the wiser. Keith sits there for a long time, trying to let his legs gain their strength. He doesn’t need to take the suit off to know he feels unclean, but he at least is sure that nothing is bleeding or torn.

Soon enough, his wolf walks up to his side. A long whine leaves his throat before he stares at Keith, as if he can see into his soul. Keith smiles, holding his hand out before brushing the wolf’s thick fur. Though he grins, he feels numb now, trying to take it in.

“Hey, thanks,” Keith nods at the wolf who huffs softly, ears back and paws against his body, “I think we should get back to them.”

The blue canine tilts his head, glancing at him as if silently asking if that’s what he wanted to do. Keith laughs this time, a more genuine sound before he nods. His wolf sniffs him over once before seeing that he’s telling the truth. The next moment, they’re gone in a bright flash.

…..

Turns out that Shiro’s soul gets rejected by the clone’s body. The others run off to get Faunatonium to charge the lions. His mother, Allura, and the wolf stay with him as he stays by Shiro’s pod.

He wrestles with himself the whole time. He doesn’t want Shiro to survive because then it’ll never happen again. The abuse will never have the chance to happen again but...He wants Shiro to live because he needs him. He _needs_ him. He can’t just give up, not after all that Keith has done for him. Not after Keith fell so far for him. Not after he already...after he died.

“Fight!” He barks out angrily, slamming his fist down on the pod. He’s leaning on it badly, most of the weight on the machine, “You can’t do this to me again!”

And he can’t. He left these wounds and he can’t flee them! He had to at least say something to him, he had to be okay! He _had_ to live!

And he does.

One part of Keith is devastated at the outcome, the other larger part is thrilled and happy.

“You saved me,” the older whispers from under him, coughing softly, “Keith, I was dreaming.”

“We saved each other,” Keith answers back, leaning closer, not really having any other option. But a piece of him practically purrs as he hugs the other, despite the fear that hits him hard as he hugs the other closer. His nose brushes the other’s neck. He smells good, nothing like the clone had, somehow. He smells like honey and thunderstorms and just...everything good. It helps Keith calm his nerves, taking comfort and pushing the darker thoughts to the back burner for now as he settles into Shiro’s side. He’s too exhausted to hold himself up anymore.

Then the others come in, telling them that they found what they were looking for. Romelle is stating something about being shrunken down to size and nearly killed a few times but Keith doesn’t have the ability to listen. He’s well past his limit, adrenaline having left him faster than anything and then some. 

He passes out, going to sleep.

…..

The next few weeks are weird.

The next time he wakes, he's still in his suit, but he's covered in a blanket. He goes to get up, yelping as he almost falls over. His legs and ass hurt, the insides sore as hell. He almost growls, but is suddenly glad no one is inside with him to witness it. As quickly as he can, he gets up to go to the mini-bathroom in the lion, stripping off the suit. He cleans up the best he can, though he never gets rid of the feeling of dried cum and crusted sweat. He doesn't doubt it will take a long time for his body to forget the sensation, but he's clean enough for now. He carefully cleans the suit too before putting it back on.

Truth be told, it's his only clothes right now besides the Blade suit. His civvies were at the Blade base. For all he knows, he could have outgrown the outfit.

Keith starts having nightmares. It's expected after it all. He re-lives the pain, the hurt, the rape. The first time, he's stupid enough to be sleeping by Shiro. When he wakes, he's ice cold and shaking so hard, he has no doubt the other would be awakened by him.

But he isn't. He sleeps on, needing all the energy he could build up.

So Keith starts to sleep by himself. He takes to the piloting chair, making a makeshift bed in the corner where no one will see him. Strangely, he feels safer there than in the bed. The wall is to his back and no one hears the nightmares, since he asks Black to lock everyone out and shut down the comms.

It's his wolf who comforts him after a nightmare, coming up to him and pawing at his side until he wakes up. Then they spend the rest of the night curled up around each other.

His sleep suffers, his appetite comes and goes, and the worst part of it all is...that he can't handle touch anymore.

Keith's never been into touch. He used to shy away from it when he could. But now...oh now, he jerks away from it. One time, Coran accidentally grabbed his shoulder suddenly, freaking him out and almost causing a full-on panic attack during a training exercise Krolia set up. It could also be triggered depending on where he got touched in the front.

But the worst was Shiro.

When Shiro touches him, he feels a shock run through him, crushing his chest under icy coldness. He instantly slaps his hand away on reflex, a growl and hiss on the tip of his tongue before fleeing out of there as fast as possible, going over to do something else like pilot or make sure everyone was settling down alright.

He hates that he's pushing Shiro away. He can see the devastation on his face when it happens. He also sees how the other never protests. Soon enough, tender touches fade into awkward once-every-week-accidental-touching. He hates it, wishes he can stop it but he can't. The memories are lodged in his mind, brought out by every single source possible.

And then they get caught, three weeks in.

By Ezor and Zethrid. 

It's bad because all of them get captured, besides Coran. They're taken to a cell on the Galra ship. As soon as they get there, handcuffs are thrown onto them. Keith feels the panic settling in as he sits back against the cell wall. Memories flash in his mind of being unable to move, of being cornered and defenseless. He drags in his next few breaths, forcing himself to breathe. As a way to change things up, he brings his hands up to his chest.

It helps a little bit. He hadn't been sitting up when it happened. He hadn't had control of where his arms were. Now he does.

But still, he sits there, back in the far corner away from everyone else. He knows if he gets touched anywhere right now, he'll be thrown back there and he doesn't want that. He ignores the chatter as he breathes.

Actually, he's starting to get tired, probably from the lack of sleep. He's also feeling a bit sore in his chest area, maybe a pulled muscle. 

He's so focused on his thoughts that he's thrown from them when he hears the mice squeaking. He glances over, seeing the others starting to remove their restraints as the door sits open. Keith stumbles to his feet, gladly getting the cuffs off with Allura's help. As soon as they fall off, he glares at them like he had the arm. A sudden burst of anger hits him, and he's so tempted to kick the thing away.

In the end, he doesn't. He leaves with the others before sneaking to the place where their stuff is stored. He calls the Black Bayard to himself, taking out his frustration and anger on the two guards inside. His vision sharpens as he hisses, his bayard slicing through the larger men without hesitation. Both fall unconscious at his feet, but energy buzzes below his skin. He needs more, needs to take out his pain on something else. He hates this feeling but he lets it bubble under his skin as he marches out of there, going to help Acxa.

…..

Months pass.

They wander through space, going closer and closer to Earth. The planet is still so far away that it’s supposed to take them a year and two months to get there still. So they’ve been out in space for a whole four months in their lions.

Keith wakes to his stomach rolling uncomfortably. Instantly, he rushes over to the nearest bucket that sits there, knowing he won’t make it to the tiny bathroom in time. As soon as he gets over the thing, he throws up into it. Hardly anything comes up, but he keeps heaving for a whole minute before letting himself relax. Scooting the pail off to the side, he groans as the room spins slightly around him. He hears Black rumble at him, likely telling him to take it easy.

“Yeah, I will,” Keith agrees with a hand on her dashboard, “Probably some type of Galra flu or something…”

He quickly lies down in the little nest of blankets he’s got. Covering himself up, he falls asleep for a bit more.

That lasts for nearly two weeks. He’s too stubborn to say anything about it to anyone, but they seem to notice he’s not feeling all that great. 

It all shifts within three weeks, so that he’s hungry. All. The. Fucking. Time.

It must have been making up for those few weeks he couldn’t hold any food. He gets weird urges to eat certain foods like ice cream with chocolate and...pickles? He doesn’t know why he craves the pickles part. He’s just hungry enough that he’ll honestly take just about anything to eat.

He eventually gets bold, asking Hunk to send over some extras. The Yellow Paladin shoots him a raised brow even after he makes up the excuse that his wolf - not Kosmo, what kind of name was _Kosmo_ anyway - needs more. Said cosmic wolf sends him a flat look through the screen, back packed with those weird waffle things they have that morning. Hunk agrees, probably obviously knowing that they were for Keith.

Keith has a hard time asking for food, always has had. It’s been something any foster family could hold against him at any moment. Now, it was a habit by now.

Shiro...Keith frowns...Shiro moves from the Black Lion to the Green Lion. He should have seen it coming, but he’s still sad when it happens. At the same time, he’s relieved that he leaves. He no longer has to watch his back. At the same time, he’s sad about it because Shiro and he don’t really talk. Shiro clearly doesn’t remember much about what the clone did, but the little bit he pieces together leaves him unable to look at Keith. 

He knows he caused the scars on his cheek.

Even when he leaves, Keith still sleeps in the nest of blankets on the floor. But sometimes, on the hard nights, he ends up going to Shiro’s old bed because the scent there is better, it calms him somehow.

…..

His wolf starts acting strange.

He starts growling at anyone who tries to touch Keith, friends or foe alike. The wolf blocks his mom too, even though she helped raise him. If anyone got close, he would teleport Keith out of there to somewhere with more room. At times, his dark nose would come to rest on Keith’s belly, especially when he was sleeping. 

It takes him nearly a week to understand what this is about.

The wolf is being protective of him.

He’s been super hungry, he’s had morning sickness, and his chest was hurting…

Oh shit…

“Is it?” He whispers to his wolf, eyes wide in shock, “Is it...Am I...boy?”

His wolf whines softly, bunting his shoulder gently before rolling his eyes. Keith gasps in surprise, hand flying to his stomach. He hadn’t thought he could get pregnant. Sure, he was intersex, but he didn’t know much about the Galra side of that. Humans usually couldn’t reproduce when intersex because the parts weren’t fully developed. He doesn’t feel anything beneath his hand but...he feels a little spark of energy in him, right down there.

“Oh…” He whispers, still in shock. Dread fills his soul as he sits there.

It’s from the clone. It has to be. It’s the only time he’s ever had sex with anyone, and…

Oh shit…

He was pregnant.

“What am I going to do?” Keith asks his wolf and Black, other hand clenching the blanket underneath of him, “I can’t tell Shiro it’s his. I can’t force this on him, not like it was with me. Shiro doesn’t remember it anyway. What if me saying triggers those memories? What if...what should I do? I can’t let the others know but eventually they will know. I can’t hide it forever. And-”

His wolf presses to his belly carefully, letting out a small woof before tilting his head. One ear flicks back, the other moving forward.

“You’re right,” Keith nods, breathing softer, “We’ll be okay. Just gotta keep going, right?”

The wolf huffs in agreeance before he rests by his side.

…..

He lasts another three months before he starts to notice that his stomach is just starting to gain a baby bump. Luckily, the suit covers it well enough. If anything, it could just look like he’s gaining a few pounds from the food everyone knows he’s eating.

And then they run across a druid, the very one who burned his hand three years ago. He uses the beacon from Kolivan to lure in the other Blades, as Keith can see on the wall. With a burst, he leaves a machine thing, Keith’s mom calling out as time slows. Keith feels his wolf appear by his leg, and they both disappear quickly.

Which leads into a fight with the druid. Keith gets his ass handed to him multiple times but he splits the mask in half. He also finds Kolivan, tied up to the ceiling. The others burst in on them and Macidus takes them out faster than anything Keith’s seen. He disappears, his laughter ringing out as Keith twists and turns. He’s never sure where it comes from, and he’s prepared for a strike to the back…

Until he feels energy around him again. He closes his eyes, concentrating on the feeling. It’s not unlike when he found the lions. But this is darker, more...inky than that was. In his mind’s eye, he sees a bright flash of the other man who rushes straight for him. Keith wastes no time in pulling his arms back, blade sent through the air. The man gasps in shock, forming into the visible realm before screaming in pain and anger, going out with a burst of light as his blade falls to the ground.

Keith stumbles forward, grabbing up the weapon. A moment passes before he winces, feeling every muscle in his body. He can see the others gathering around Kolivan, to get him down. But he stays in his spot, noticing that something feels off. He’s sore, he hurts, and…

“Keith,” Allura interrupts his thoughts as he presses his hand to his stomach, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Keith nods softly, face tight in confusion. Nothing feels hurt, “I’m...I’m fine. You?”

“Just a little sore. I am ashamed to say that he got the drop on me, but I suppose it happens sometimes,” Allura speaks softly, dusting off her armor. It suddenly registers to Keith why he feels off in that amount of time.

He can’t feel it. He can’t feel the baby. There’s no energy there now. What if...what if he hurt it doing what he did? What if him using that ability killed it? He might have been mad about the circumstances that led to it, but he wasn’t mad at the baby itself. It didn’t deserve that from him.

He can hear Allura saying something in the background, likely to him. But it sounds so far away as his ears buzz like a heartbeat. He suddenly becomes dizzy, world spinning so badly that he probably goes pale. All he knows is that he passes out, everything going black instantly.

He swears he hears his name shouted, in Shiro’s voice.

…..

Shiro is busy helping Kolivan sit up with his one arm. He can feel his other arm, but he knows it’s gone. And he’s sure the reason why it’s gone has to do with whatever the clone...whatever he did to Keith. He knows the four angry scratch burns are from the arm. They couldn’t be from anything else, especially not when they occured. Keith had them on the astral plane, after fighting him.

Speaking of Keith, Shiro glances over at the other who stands to the side. Keith seems...distracted, face pulled down in a confused manner, something Shiro has seen plenty of times. One of the last times he’s seen that was when he was thinking over his blade and his past, before they entered the Blade.

It feels like years but also seconds since then to him.

He wants to help Keith, but he knows...he knows his presence isn’t wanted. Keith is too scared of him, and he can’t even blame him for it. He’d be scared of himself too if he burned up his face.

Luckily, Allura notices his staring, icy blue eyes peeking at Keith before she smiles softly at him. She quickly goes over to the other whose hand is resting on his stomach just above the paladin belt. Shiro watches for a moment, glad that Keith was at least talking to Allura. He hears Krolia speaking to Kolivan, whispering about leaving for the other Blades, to regroup. But Shiro can’t pay attention to that, eyes on Keith the whole time. The princess is saying something to him, but it’s clear as day that Keith’s not hearing her. His eyes are wide with shock and worry, hand still on his belly. A second passes before he goes paler than paper, swaying to the side before collapsing.

“KEITH!” Shiro shouts automatically, rushing forward just in time to catch his best (were they best friends anymore? Did Shiro even deserve that title anymore? Did Keith even want him around anymore?) friend. Keith passes out in his arms, still incredibly pale and clammy. He grips the younger carefully, holding him enough that he won’t slide away.

“We must get him into the pod,” Coran speaks up as Shiro starts to scoop Keith up with his one arm. Before anyone can say anything else, he runs for the Black Lion, where the pod is in storage. As soon as they get inside, he rests the other in there somehow, watching as the pod’s glass seals over him. 

“What is wrong with my son?” Krolia asks with sharp eyes, just behind them with Kolivan slung over her shoulder. Shiro would have laughed at the sight if the situation was less dire, “Is he going to be alright?”

“It could be the battle with the druid,” Coran acknowledges with a hand on his chin, tapping some of the settings as the pod starts up with a tiny hum, “I do notice that he was slammed around a bit from the fight, could have hit something wrong.”

They wait for a moment. The machine beeps, making Coran let out a relieved breath.

“He seems to be fine, though tired,” the orange-haired man glances at them all, “That was quite the intense battle out there.”

“Coran,” Allura speaks up, voice unsure and unsettled, “Is this? Is this what I think it is?”

“What?” Pidge asks softly, glancing at the machine cluelessly as Lance and Hunk join in, “What’s wrong?”

“It seems to be,” Coran nods softly before pulling up a new screen on the pod. A small dot appears before Keith now, pulsing evenly. It doesn’t quite match up to Keith’s heart beat. Allura gasps quietly, hand going to her mouth as her brows go down in concern. Shiro becomes all the more nervous about it, “He is.”

“Keith’s pregnant,” Allura speaks out, staring at the pod.

“Keith’s what!” Lance exclaims loudly, also in shock like them all, “He...HOW!”

“Who is the father?” Krolia instantly asks, her hand on the pod. It takes a long moment for Shiro to realize that his has fallen onto the same thing too, though on the other side of it. He wonders that too.

“I can’t tell,” Allura frowns, “The pod only detects that there is life growing there, and it is healthy.”

“Maybe Keith had sex with someone on one of the planets we’ve stayed on?” Pidge asks, though she doesn’t sound convinced of it, “There were a few stops along the way.”

“Yeah, like that one place with the winged people,” Hunk nods, also not looking convinced.

“No,” Shiro shakes his head, confirming it, “Keith’s told me multiple times that he’s not one for one-night stands.”

“Besides, it seems that the baby is nearly seven phoebes old,” Coran speaks up, frown on his lips too as he stares at the pod, “They’re just beginning to grow and expand. There seems to be five more phoebes left.”

“Wait…” Romelle frowns, hands moving from the pod to them, “We’ve been on the road for around seven phoebes, right?”

“Uhhh…” Pidge raises her brow before looking at her watch, “Actually...yeah. It has been almost exactly seven months since we started our journey to Earth.”

Wait…

Shiro glances at the pod again, chest burning as he starts to shake slightly. Keith sleeps on as if nothing has happened, face slack. Seven months...seven months since they began their travels. Seven months since the fight with Lotor...Seven months since the fight with the clone…

Fuck…

Shiro goes pale himself.

He doesn’t remember much besides bits of the fight. He remembers carving Keith’s face up with his claws on his right hand, he remembers Keith’s cries of pain, he remembers the smell of burning flesh and something else he can’t name...something that’s familiar in his mind.

He doesn’t need those memories to guess what happened. To know where the baby came from or why Keith is scared of him now.

He backs up, removing his hand like it’s been burned. It _does_ burn. He feels sick, stomach dropping like a stone. He quickly glances around before spotting the small bucket in the corner, hurrying over to it before hurling into it. He falls onto his knees, pushing it away when he’s done. Someone presses their hand to his shoulder, and he glances up into purple eyes that look at him in concern.

“Sorry,” he croaks out to the woman - Keith’s mother, who will hate him - before getting up quickly. Already tears are in his eyes, since he’s absolutely sure that Keith never wanted this to happen. Not this way, and probably not with him. Fuck, “S-sorry.”

And then he bolts for the nearest storage place, locking himself inside and sitting down against the wall. He grabs his head, yanking on his hair before hiding his face into his knees. He still feels sick, shivering wildly as he tries to breathe.

He hurt Keith. He hurt his best friend. He hurt the one he loved. And now he was pregnant because of it. Had...Had Keith known about it? Or was it a mystery? Is that...is that why Keith had been acting weird? The sickness? The sleepless nights?

Somehow, he falls asleep there. He can’t hear anything through the door, which is a blessing. He ends up waking to darkness, the space tight. He freaks out some, instantly remembering his dark cell when he was captured.

He doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t want to be here. He wants Keith. Keith-

A knock breaks him out of his head as he snaps back to reality. Frowning, he hears the knocking again. Hesitantly, he opens the door. It’s Krolia who doesn’t look ready to muder him. She should. Maybe she doesn’t know.

“He wants to talk to you,” she speaks up, face softening, “Was ready to come over to do so.”

“But…” Shiro frowns, holding onto his pant leg, “He shouldn’t.”

“Because what the clone did?” Krolia asks, making Shiro flinch, head ducking down as shame hits him deeply, “Shiro, look at me, please.”

Shiro gazes up at her. She sends him a steady smile, the soft kind that says she’s not mad and that she gets it. His guilt grows.

“It didn’t take much to guess.”

“The others…”

“They don’t know yet,” she nods before she settles against the doorway, arms crossing, “They don’t know your relationship with my son all that well. But they’ll get it, soon. They might be slow, but they’re not stupid. And neither am I. It wasn’t your fault, Shiro.”

“Yeah, but-”

“Keith will tell you the same,” she stares at him, face serious, “He doesn’t blame you. I’m sure he’s confused about it, but he cares about you. He knows it wasn’t you.”

“But-”

“Just speak with him, alright?”

“I...sure,” Shiro nods, standing up on numb legs, “But...what if I hurt him more? What if I kill him? I already-”

“You won’t,” she answers back, no hesitation in her voice, “You won’t hurt Keith.”

“How can you be so sure?” Shiro demands, face tight as he steps closer to her, “My clone did. He didn’t just scar him, Krolia. What does that say about me, huh? The clone was me. If my clone was willing to go that far, what’s to say I won’t!”

“Because you’re in control,” the woman stares at him, “I’ve seen Keith’s life while in the quantum abyss. You’ve been nothing but caring for Keith. You helped him when I could not.”

“But-”

“Just speak with him,” she presses her hand to his shoulder, “Keith, he doesn’t want to lose you. You’ve disappeared from his life too many times now. Just hear him out.”

He nods. Slowly, they both trek their way over to the bedroom in the lion. Once at the doorway, Krolia nods at him, giving him an encouraging grin before motioning to go forward. He goes inside, the door slipping shut behind him. 

Keith lies there, on his side. He’s dressed in some clothes Shiro’s never seen, possibly Hunk’s with the size that they are. They must have been the only spares that they have. The younger is resting with his head into the pillow, his wolf off to the other side. From here, Shiro can see the shirt is kicked up enough to show off his belly, which just has a small curve to it.

He must make a noise, because dark eyes gaze up at him.

“Shiro…” The other states with a small voice, curling up more before motioning him to come closer. He does, slowly as Kosmo sits up, staring at him with a judging eye narrowed on him. A moment passes before he huffs, turning his head to go to sleep, as if he thinks he can trust Shiro was Keith, “Sit? Please?”

“I...Keith…” Shiro gives in too quickly, sitting down right by Keith’s leg. He makes sure not to touch him at all, “What’s...uhhh...what’s up?”

“You don’t need to jump around it,” Keith speaks up softly, watching him with a sad look, “I’m not mad.”

“But-”

“It wasn’t you.”

“But it was me,” Shiro frowns as he leans against Keith slightly, turning towards him, “My clone was me.”

“But your clone…” Keith’s brows move down in confusion, as if thinking it all out, “I’ve had seven months to think about it. He was trying to protect me.”

“Protect you, Keith!” Shiro’s jaw drops, feeling as though maybe Keith hit his head and has it all confused. He stares at the younger, eyes wide and shocked, “He...I raped you! How is that protecting you! I violated you! I took away your choice! Keith!”

“He could have killed me,” Keith settles against his mound of blankets, already looking tired. It must be the pregnancy, “We saw it on the abyss. He could have put his blade through my face and ended it all. But he let me get out alive.”

“Keith, that’s no excuse…” Shiro hisses quietly, “He...I hurt you. I didn’t have to hurt you like that. You’re left with this baby that you didn’t ask for.”

“No,” Keith stares at him, face flat for a moment before he sighs, “It’s not an excuse. It’s just the truth. He saved me in his own way. He didn’t have much power to change that. But...I want to be close with you again. I want to have what we used to have. I want...I want you to have a chance with them. He or she is yours too, but I don’t want to make you raise them.”

“Keith…” Shiro frowns, eyes watering. Keith knew what it was like to have a single parent. Shiro would never do that to his own kids, to Keith, “Of course, I want to go back to what we used to have. I miss you. The last few months...I just...I moved to the Green Lion because I thought I would make you uncomfortable.”

“I just need to retrain my brain,” Keith stares up at him, “I know it wasn’t you. I just get it confused. I want to not flinch at your touch. I want to be able to melt into your hugs. I want you. I want my best friend. I want Shiro, the one who saved me before I could have ever thought of saving myself. I miss you.”

“I...okay,” Shiro nods, sending the other a small smile before looking over him with concern, “You okay?”

“Just tired,” Keith sighs before patting his tummy, “Took a lot out of me with that fight.”

“I bet,” Shiro nods before his eyes land on the other’s hand. A moment passes before another hand holds onto his own. He gazes back into violet eyes.

“You can feel them if you want?” Keith tilts his head, the tiniest smile on his lips as he brings Shiro’s larger hand to his belly. As soon as Shiro feels his skin, he gasps softly. He thought he’d never get this chance. He probably shouldn’t have this chan- “Hey, stop those thoughts. I can see it on your face.”

“Right, sorry,” Shiro apologizes, “I’ll try. Work in progress. Just remind me if I fall too far.”

“Always,” Keith grins before patting behind him, “Stay with me? Please?”

“Yeah,” he says breathlessly, “I can do that.”

He carefully climbs over the other who scoots forward. He’s cautious enough to not bother Keith while doing so. He slowly lies behind the other, pausing every now and then.

“This okay?” He asks once he settles down.

“Yeah,” Keith nods, his ebony hair tickling Shiro’s nose. It’s gotten longer since he disappeared in the astral plane. The younger reaches over to take his arm, placing it over his front, “We’re going to have to figure this out. I’m going to have triggers, things you can’t do. Holding me from the back is okay, but the front is a no-no.”

“And if I end up getting my memories of the attack back?”

“Then we’ll figure it out,” Keith yawns softly, “I’m not giving up on us. I didn’t lie to you before. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Shiro grins, pressing Keith closer to his chest, “I want us to work too. I’ll work with you, through it all. Nightmares, the baby, everything.”

“G’night, Shi,” Keith passes out, going to sleep quickly. Shiro lies there for a long moment, not believing it to be real. He rests his hand on the other man’s stomach, feeling a little soft spot and fire hot skin. He grins, tucking his chin into the other’s neck before falling asleep too.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to add more with the baby being born but I had to settle for this for now. I may add more to this but as it is, it's complete enough. :> Hope you liked it!


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